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Selfies are part of life for many people, whether in front of a landmark or on the beach. Often your own face fills almost the entire frame, and the sea or the famous building behind you shrinks to a thin strip at the edge. A research team in California observed how that can change. Older adults regularly took selfies on their walks, and some of them were asked to look out for things that filled them with wonder along the way. In this group especially, the pictures changed from week to week. The participants took up less and less space, while more and more of their surroundings came into view. To the researchers, this suggested that the participants were less preoccupied with themselves while experiencing wonder. Their smiles also grew broader.
The study was led by psychologist and neuroscientist Virginia Sturm at the University of California, San Francisco. For eight weeks, participants went for a fifteen-minute walk at least once a week. Beforehand, the team explained to about half of them in a short conversation what was meant by wonder, for example standing in front of an old tree or watching light fall through autumn leaves. In psychology, this experience is called awe: the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that you can’t immediately make sense of. The comparison group walked without this guidance, and even more often. In brief daily surveys, the awe group also reported more gratitude and compassion, and said that feelings such as sadness or anger grew weaker. The researchers later titled their study “Big smile, small self”.
On busy days there is often little room for moments like these, especially now that the clocks have gone back, it gets dark early and many people feel their energy fading. A few small habits can open up some space again over the course of the day, by looking outward, by using your breath, after work or through writing. They work in different ways, and not every one suits everyone.
Wonder on your lunch break
Moments of wonder exist in the middle of everyday life, too. It might be a cloudy sky above the rooftops or the tree you walk past every day without ever really looking at it. If you spend ten minutes outside on your lunch break deliberately looking for something like that, you shift your attention away from your own thoughts for a moment. The walks had no measurable effect on broader measures such as anxiety or life satisfaction, though, and the study did not examine whether working people benefit in the same way. As an experiment, ten minutes is a manageable investment.
Two in, one long out
There isn’t always time for a walk, for example just before a difficult meeting or an awkward phone call, when your pulse is already rising. That’s when you can turn to your breath. A team at Stanford University studied what five minutes of deliberate breathing a day can do. Around a hundred participants, mostly students, practiced daily for a month, doing either one of several breathing techniques or a short meditation. The effect was clearest for a technique the team calls cyclic sighing. You breathe in deeply through your nose, add a short second inhale on top until your lungs are completely full, and then breathe out slowly and fully through your mouth. Among participants who practiced this technique, positive feelings rose more on average right after each session than in the meditation group, and their respiratory rate in daily life also dropped more. Anxiety and negative feelings decreased in all groups, with little difference between breathing and meditation.
The groups were small, and how diligently people practiced at home relies solely on what participants reported. Whether the technique also helps right before a difficult conversation was not specifically tested. Because it needs no particular place and no preparation, you can find out whether it helps you in moments like that or during the afternoon slump.
Switching off after work
Switching off is often hardest in the evening, when you’ve long been home but your mind is still at the office. Work psychologist Sabine Sonnentag has spent many years studying how people recover from work, and together with her colleague Charlotte Fritz she described what that involves. It includes mentally detaching from work, as well as relaxation and the sense of deciding for yourself what to do with your free time. Activities that challenge you can also be restorative, for example learning a language or being fully absorbed in climbing. Researchers call this mastery, the feeling of getting good at something.
A large meta-analysis with data from more than twenty thousand employees found that, of these experiences, mentally detaching was most closely linked to less exhaustion. The sense of deciding for yourself how to spend your free time was most strongly associated with more vigor and energy. The data come mostly from surveys and show associations from which causes cannot be reliably inferred. If you keep glancing at your work phone while sitting on the sofa in the evening, it’s often hard to really leave work behind.
When something lingers
Some experiences stay with you for days, a slight perhaps, or a worry you haven’t told anyone about. In the 1980s, the American psychologist James Pennebaker had students spend fifteen minutes on each of four evenings writing about the most upsetting experience of their lives, some only about the facts, some only about their feelings and some about both. A comparison group wrote about everyday topics.
Right after writing, it was mainly those who had focused on their feelings who felt worse. Over the following months, illness-related visits to the university health center rose in the three other groups. Among those who had connected the event with their feelings, the number stayed the same, although this difference fell just short of statistical significance. Since then, well over a hundred studies on what is known as expressive writing have been published, with mixed results: some reviews found a small positive effect, others no clear benefit. A more recent meta-analysis found small improvements in stress, anxiety and depressive symptoms, but only at later follow-ups. On an evening when something won’t let you go, it may still be worth getting the experience down on paper and looking at it a little from the outside. Feeling stirred up at first can happen. If the strain becomes too much or doesn’t ease, stop.
Exercise: the one-week trial
Pick the habit that fits best into your daily life and try it for a week.
For the walk: On at least three days, go outside for ten to fifteen minutes and look out for something that fills you with wonder. Following the study, take a selfie each time, and at the end of the week look at all the pictures side by side.
For the breath: Take five minutes every day. Breathe in deeply through your nose, add a short second inhale and breathe out slowly and fully through your mouth. Repeat this at a comfortable pace without forcing your breathing. If you feel dizzy, simply go back to breathing normally. If you have a heart or lung condition or are pregnant, check with your doctor first.
For the evening: Set a time after which you no longer read work messages, and plan something for the evening that is just for you. It can be something calm or something that challenges you and that you enjoy.
For writing: On three or four evenings in a row, spend fifteen minutes writing about what won’t let you go and how you feel about it. You don’t have to show it to anyone. After recent or very serious experiences such as violence or a loss, writing alone is not enough, and support from people you trust or from a professional is the better choice.
Each evening, note in one sentence how it went, and after the week decide whether you want to keep the habit.
At what moment of your day is it hardest for you to get out of your own head?
If it’s more than a hard day: These exercises are not a substitute for treatment. If your mood stays low for weeks, talk to a psychologist at Mindvise. Your GP or a psychotherapy practice are also good places to turn to. If you are in acute crisis in Germany, you can reach the TelefonSeelsorge free of charge around the clock at 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222. In an emergency, call 112.
Sources
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Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., Weed, L., Nouriani, B., Jo, B., Holl, G., Zeitzer, J. M., Spiegel, D. & Huberman, A. D. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4(1), 100895. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xcrm.2022.100895
Sonnentag, S. & Fritz, C. (2007). The Recovery Experience Questionnaire: Development and validation of a measure for assessing recuperation and unwinding from work. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 12(3), 204–221. https://doi.org/10.1037/1076-8998.12.3.204
Bennett, A. A., Bakker, A. B. & Field, J. G. (2018). Recovery from work-related effort: A meta-analysis. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 39(3), 262–275. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.2217
Pennebaker, J. W. & Beall, S. K. (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 95(3), 274–281. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.95.3.274
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