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Why This Exercise?
The text “Change Without Resolutions – What We Expect From Ourselves Every Year” isn’t a guide. It didn’t tell you what to do. But maybe it raised questions. Maybe something’s sitting in you now that wants to look more closely. Not to optimize. But to understand.
This exercise isn’t a plan. It’s a conversation with yourself. Without evaluation. Without “right” or “wrong”. Just: What’s actually going on?
Part 1: The Honest Inventory (15 minutes)
Get paper and pen. Not your laptop. Not the notes app. Writing by hand does something different to thinking. Slower. More honest.
Question 1: What’s really bothering you right now?
Not: What should bother you. Not: What would bother others. But: What bothers you?
Write it down. Unfiltered. It can be banal. It can be embarrassing. No one’s reading this but you.
Examples:
- “I’m exhausted by evening and don’t know why.”
- “I say yes to everything and then resent it.”
- “I constantly compare myself to others.”
- “I don’t know what I actually want.”
Question 2: Which of your current habits drain your energy?
Not the big things. The small ones. The daily ones. The ones where you think: “Oh, it’s not that bad.”
Examples:
- Checking emails at night
- Eating lunch at your desk
- Helping everyone before you help yourself
- Putting things off and then feeling guilty
Question 3: What on this list do you do because you think you have to?
This is where it gets interesting. What on your list is duty? What’s fear? What’s habit? What’s someone else’s expectation?
Mark everything where you’re not sure if it actually comes from you.
Part 2: The Counter-Question (10 minutes)
Now flip it. Not: What’s missing? But: What’s already there?
Question 4: When did you feel good in the past week?
Not spectacularly good. Just: okay. Aligned. Right.
Write down concrete moments. No platitudes. No ideals. Real situations.
Examples:
- “Friday evening when I just sat on the couch.”
- “The conversation with Anna where we talked about nothing important.”
- “When I got up 10 minutes earlier in the morning and wasn’t rushed.”
- “The walk without a podcast in my ears.”
Question 5: What was there that you hadn’t planned?
Which of these good moments were spontaneous? Which happened because you didn’t do something?
Part 3: The Tiny System (5 minutes)
Here comes the only “task”. But it’s not one. It’s an experiment.
Choose ONE thing that’s minimal
Not three. One. Not something big. Something so small it seems ridiculous.
The rule: It can’t take longer than 2 minutes.
Examples:
- Drink a glass of water after waking up
- Close the laptop at 6pm, no matter what’s still open
- Look out the window while brushing your teeth instead of at your phone
- Once a day, consciously exhale and drop your shoulders
- Before you say yes, wait 3 seconds
Important: This isn’t about this thing changing your life. It’s about doing something without fighting. About noticing: change doesn’t have to feel hard.
The Anchor
Link this tiny thing to something you already do anyway. That’s the trick. Not “I have to remember”, but “After X comes Y automatically”.
Example:
- AFTER brushing teeth → 2 push-ups
- AFTER first coffee → put phone away for 5 minutes
- AFTER end-of-day email check → laptop closed, no exceptions
Part 4: The Non-Goals (5 minutes)
This is the most radical part. And the most important.
Question 6: What are you allowed to stop doing?
Not: What should you stop. But: What are you allowed to stop?
Write down three things you give yourself permission to stop doing.
Examples:
- “I’m allowed to stop wanting to exercise every day.”
- “I’m allowed to stop needing to always be productive.”
- “I’m allowed to stop comparing myself to others.”
- “I’m allowed to stop being perfect.”
These aren’t excuses. These are permissions. There’s a difference.
Question 7: What’s your actual New Year’s resolution?
If you’re honest. If you drop the facade. If you don’t think about Instagram. What is it?
Maybe: “I want to feel less bad about myself.”
Maybe: “I want to know what I actually want.”
Maybe: “I want to stop fighting myself.”
Write it down. And then leave it there. Don’t do anything with it. It’s enough that you know.
What Now?
Nothing. Seriously. You don’t have to do anything now.
You looked. That’s more than most people do. You wrote down something that usually just runs in the background. That’s the first step. Not toward a goal. But toward clarity.
If you want to try your tiny system: Good. If not: Also good. It won’t run away.
The exercise isn’t a checklist. It’s an offer. A space for reflection. For noticing where you are. Without anyone watching. Without having to prove yourself.
Maybe you’ll come back here in two weeks. Maybe you’ll write new answers. Maybe you’ll notice that something has shifted. Or not. Both are okay.
The most important rule of this exercise: There are no rules.
Just you. And what’s true right now.
Appendix: Why This Exercise Might Work
It’s based on what psychology knows about behavior change:
Self-reflection without judgment (Carl Rogers): When you look without judging, space for change emerges.
Tiny Habits (BJ Fogg): Tiny steps, linked to existing ones, survive. Big resolutions fail.
Intrinsic Motivation (Deci & Ryan): What comes from within lasts. What’s imposed dies.
Acceptance instead of struggle (ACT therapy): When you stop fighting yourself, energy becomes available for change.
But forget the theory. Do the exercise. Or don’t. You decide.
