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This exercise is designed to help you become more aware of your automatic self-talk, question it, and begin to cultivate a kinder, more supportive inner dialogue.
1. Reflect on a specific situation
Think of a recent situation at work where you felt self-critical, pressured, or inadequate. Perhaps it followed a difficult meeting, a mistake, or a moment of uncertainty.
What exactly happened? What thoughts went through your mind in that moment?
2. Tune in to the tone of your inner voice
Try to notice the tone of those thoughts. Were they harsh, judgmental, or discouraging? Did they create pressure or a sense of failure?
Ask yourself: Would I speak this way to a colleague or friend I care about? If not, why is it okay to speak this way to myself?
3. Shift from inner critic to inner coach
Now try to reframe those initial thoughts in a way that is still honest, but more compassionate and constructive.
For example, instead of: “I was totally unprepared,” you might say: “I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted to be today – that’s frustrating. And I can learn from this for next time.”
The goal isn’t to sugarcoat, but to speak with yourself as you would with someone you genuinely want to support.
4. Create a personal, supportive statement
Choose a phrase that could help you in similar situations. Something that grounds you, encourages you, or reminds you of your growth. For example:
“I’m allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.”
“I’m doing my best, even if things aren’t perfect.”
“I’m learning – I don’t need to have it all figured out yet.”
Read your statement out loud or quietly to yourself. Notice how it feels. It may seem unfamiliar at first – that’s okay. Speaking kindly to yourself takes practice, not perfection.
5. Take a moment to check in
What shifts internally when you speak to yourself in this way?
How does it feel compared to the original thoughts?
You can return to this exercise any time you notice your inner voice becoming overly critical or harsh. The more often you practice reshaping your self-talk, the more access you gain to an inner stance that is calm, supportive, and resilient.
And remember: the way you speak to yourself shapes your inner world – and that, in turn, influences how you show up in the outer one.
