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This exercise helps bring order to the mental and emotional swirl that often comes with the end of the year.
It works especially well because the brain processes things more clearly when they are placed into a visible structure.
You’ll need a few slips of paper or a digital notes app.
There’s no limit to how many entries you write, and they can be words, phrases, or full sentences.
Step 1: Everything you want to release
On individual slips of paper or in a left-hand column, write down everything you don’t want to carry into the new year.
Let your words be natural, not polished.
Examples:
• “Saying yes when I mean no.”
• “Trying to meet everyone’s expectations.”
• “Overloaded weeks without room to breathe.”
• “Self-criticism when things take longer.”
• “The pressure to always be productive.”
• “Comparing myself to others.”
Don’t overthink it.
It doesn’t have to be complete — just honest.
Step 2: Everything that deserves more space
In a second column or on separate notes, write down what you want more of next year.
These are not resolutions. They are needs, desires, tendencies you can already feel.
Examples:
• “More time buffers in my weeks.”
• “Connections that feel easy and mutual.”
• “Routines that support me instead of stressing me.”
• “Moments to make decisions calmly.”
• “Joyful movement that gives me energy.”
• “More curiosity in my everyday life.”
Focus on what feels strengthening, not what sounds impressive.
Step 3: Pairing — the heart of the exercise
Now place the two categories side by side.
Choose entries that relate to one another and form pairs.
Examples:
“Overloaded weeks” ↔ “Routines that include breathing room”
“Trying to please everyone” ↔ “Relationships that feel authentic”
“Self-critical thoughts” ↔ “A kinder internal voice”
“Comparing myself to others” ↔ “Acknowledging my own progress”
These pairs often reveal where the deepest shift begins — where relief and growth belong together.
Step 4: One clarifying question
Pick the pair that resonates most right now and ask yourself:
“What can I do in practical, everyday ways that allows the supportive part to grow — so the draining part naturally takes up less space?”
This shifts the focus from “I have to let go” to
“I strengthen what helps me.”
A mindset that psychology consistently shows to be more sustainable.
Step 5: One guiding sentence for the new year
Turn your chosen pair into a simple, encouraging sentence — one that guides rather than pressures you.
Examples:
• “I plan my weeks with more room to breathe.”
• “I invest in relationships where I feel fully myself.”
• “I make decisions more slowly and more consciously.”
• “I treat my needs with the same respect I give to others’ expectations.”
It’s not a resolution.
It’s a compass.
