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This exercise helps in moments when you notice you’re reacting more strongly or more sensitively than the situation actually requires — something that happens more often in autumn when energy drops and emotional responses come quicker.
The goal is simple:
Understand what’s going on inside you, and communicate it openly before misunderstandings arise.
Step 1: Check in with yourself
Pause for a moment and ask:
“Is my reaction coming from the situation — or from my current state?”
Most of the time, the answer is something like:
“I’m tired.”
“I’m tense today.”
“I’m more sensitive than usual.”
Recognizing this takes the pressure out immediately.
Not because you’re “doing something right,” but because you can see:
This reaction is more about me than about what’s happening.
Step 2: Say it openly and simply
If you notice that your reaction isn’t really caused by the other person, name it briefly.
A few natural, honest sentences are enough:
“I notice I’m a bit more sensitive today.”
“Just so you know — that’s about me, not about you.”
“I need a moment, then I’m good.”
This instantly removes tension.
The other person doesn’t feel blamed, and you don’t feel pressured.
Step 3: Return to the topic together
After that short moment of clarity, make a gentle transition back to the task:
“Alright, let’s see how we can approach this.”
This shows:
You’re present.
You’re accessible.
You’re not withdrawing — you’re simply reorienting yourself.
It’s not a technique. It’s honesty.
Real-world example
A colleague sends a short message:
“Status?”
You feel a spike of tension.
Your first interpretation: “They’re pressuring me.”
But you’ve been low on energy all afternoon.
You do the quick check:
“I’m reacting strongly because I’m exhausted, not because the message is harsh.”
Then you reply:
“I’ll give you an update shortly. And just so you know — if I sound a bit brief, I’m just tired today, not annoyed.”
And instantly, the tone relaxes.
No misunderstanding.
No unnecessary heaviness.
Why this exercise works
It brings together three essential elements — naturally, without feeling like a method:
Self-awareness: You recognize what’s happening inside you.
Relief for the other person: You make it clear they’re not the cause.
Clear re-entry: You guide the conversation back on track calmly.
It creates less friction, more clarity and a grounded, honest form of emotional flexibility.
